Do you think it's a good idea to be a stay at home mom?

Discussion in 'Everything Else' started by jdjlmcwherter, Oct 3, 2012.

  1. Tasneem Santos

    Tasneem Santos New Member

    Being a mother isn't an easy job either. But it's one of the most crucial and can be the most rewarding roles ever. I've met a lot of youth of varying ages and when it came to the root of the problems they faced, especially emotionally, they always had something to do with a parent or both not being there or being hard to communicate with. Kids nowadays are often left with nannies or relatives who can care less for the right welfare of the child. Building strong bonds and influence with your kids, especially in their early years is the most critical. If the parent fails to do so during these years then it might spell danger in the years ahead. If you can find a job that won't take you away from your kids for a long time and without you being overworked, then go for it. But it's always best to talk it with hubby first. Work together on it.
    iftear2020 likes this.
  2. hinnan

    hinnan New Member

    Being a stay at home mom is a wonderful choice to have. We all differ in the amount of grown up social interaction that we need. One of the best part of being home with your kids is that you get to take part in all the milestones.

    I wish that I could cut down a bit on my job so I could stay at home more with my kids, would find it ideal to be able to work 8-12 and then enjoy the rest of day with the kids and doing all that needs to be done around the house and for the family. For me, the lack of grown up interaction would be the main down side as I need to talk a lot and honestly, Hello Kitty, Lego and Minecraft get tired real soon ..... when that is the only topic that my children choose at the moment.
  3. Amanda80

    Amanda80 New Member

    I love being a stay-at-home-mom! It's nice having plenty of time to interact with the kids and attend to chores/errands. It's becoming increasingly difficult to swing financially, though.

    I do remember how isolated I felt when my children were really young, but staying home became my new normal after a while. It's really important to find some way to interact with other adults, though, whether it be at church, library storytime, MOPS, or playdates. Those kinds of things break up the monotony - that's good for everyone!
  4. Agravesx

    Agravesx Member

    Well, I was raised by a stay at home mom, and I feel that was very important and allowed me to be far more connected with her and helps root me firmly in my family's beliefs. I really think that too many women nowadays are really not giving it much thought any more. A child is influenced so easily when he's young, so that's when the mother needs to be with the child the most. Whenever I get married, I really want my wife to consider staying home to raise the kids, it may be hard work, and she may be sacrificing a lot, but it will be so much more beneficial to them.
  5. LovingMyBabies

    LovingMyBabies New Member

    I absolutely love being a stay at home mother. It is the most rewarding job I have ever had. Yes it is difficult sometimes with not being around other adults but there are things like the library where they do special things where you can meet other parents. Plus I go to church and I meet new people there too. =) I would never trade jobs for anything!
  6. Rmz1217

    Rmz1217 New Member

    I was stuck in the same position. I desperately missed working when I was home with my children. It is extremely difficult and isolating. No one really seems to understand the position you are stuck in. I can tell you that it does not last forever, my youngest went to school this year and I returned to work (part time). I have a greater appreciation for my job, but I also enjoy my children more now that I have a break. I would ask if there is any way for you to get a break. I found that joining a gym with child care was a huge help to me. I was able to get a regular break from the kids and regain some adult time. Do you have any options which would offer you a regular break from the children?
  7. Reker

    Reker New Member

    Absolutley, and not to sound like a sexist dick (no pun inteneded) I feel women are best suited to stay at home and take care of the house and raise the children, like women do all around the world except America. Don't get me wrong I'm a huge Susan B. Anthony advocate, but why is it necessary for my wife to work a job when I provide more than enough for my family? Why pay a babysitter when you have an able body wife avalible? My mom always told me if a girl can't cook, clean, and is lazy, run...... far.
  8. AliciaC

    AliciaC Member

    I've been a stay at home mom for the most part of the past 5 years. My children are only 10.5 months apart, so I definitely understand your frustration! However, I find it great to be able to stay at home with them, pick my son up from school. My daughter and I do some baking throughout the day, play games, she helps me clean up, etc. My husband works from 8am - 6-pm or so, and the kids bed time is at 7pm. So I have them all day, everyday. It was definitely harder when they were still babies. Especially my daughter who had a bad case of Colic and intestinal problems. She was constantly crying and because of this (and the fact that she was an oops, hubby only wanted 1) my hubby left her all up to me. Wouldn't even change her diaper. It was tough getting up with both kids at night. I got next to no sleep every single night.

    It's definitely been tough, but it's been worth it. That tiny little baby who used to scream at the top of her lungs is in the living room sitting quietly, playing Mario Party, very excited to start kindergarten this September. And the quiet baby boy who came home in preemie clothes brought Buzz Lightyear to school today for show and tell.
    I actually just recently quit my job to stay home with my children again. I was working for only 5 months.

    Anyway, rather than daycare, perhaps you can find a babysitter and work something out financially with her? If you have siblings, perhaps they would babysit? Or your parents or your husbands parents maybe? Do you have any friends who are also a stay at home mom?
  9. msloveitleaveit

    msloveitleaveit New Member

    Being a stay at mom has it's benefits and downfalls. Personally, I need to get out of the house and make my own money so I don't think I could stay at home for long. My son is 5 months old, and I'll be returning to work in a few months. I can't wait! I can see how some would want to stay home to raise their children - the cost of daycare is insane!
  10. cnhenigin

    cnhenigin New Member

    I agree that being a stay-at-home mom is very hard. I am one, and love it. The hard thing for me is that there is nothing of my own to accomplish that has nothing to do with my child, husband, house, cooking or cleaning. That is my most difficult struggle.

    That being said, I wouldn't switch this opportunity. I love being with my little one and, before we had her, my husband and I decided I would be a stay-at-home mom. We just decided that would be the best for our family. I have friends, however, that work part-time and full-time. They feel that being able to have some separation and to have the projects and job that are their own make them better moms.

    Ultimately, it comes down to what is best for your family and for you.
  11. TBone

    TBone New Member

    I'm still undecided. While I love being with my baby all day long and I really don't like the idea of someone else spending the bulk of the day with her, I also feel a lot of pressure to return to work. The majority of people that I have spoken to, especially women, seem to look down on a woman choosing to be a full time mother. Before I had my little bean I had every intention of returning to work after 6 months, but now we're at 9 months and I just don't feel right about it. It's very confusing being a mother in this day and age. You have expectations of yourself which are instilled in you by a society which celebrates the masculine roles and belittles the feminine roles. A successful, modern woman is expected to go out and be a career woman and leave their children with a creche. If their choice is to stay at home with their child then they are seen to have given up on their dreams. I wish everyone could be a mother for a week just to be able to appreciate how difficult but amazingly rewarding it is. Being a full time mum is definitely not a cop out.
  12. BFinlayson

    BFinlayson New Member

    Day care is often so expensive that you often end up working just cover the cost. I think it would be better to do it yourself, save the hassle and get to enjoy all the time with your children that you can. To stay sane and still have adult conversation, joining a group with other parents with children the same age can be helpful, so at least for a few hours you can get a slight rest, share frustrations with others, and let your children have some child to child time as well. You never know, you might just end up making some new good friends along the way.
  13. Gizzy06

    Gizzy06 New Member

    I have been a stay at home mom for 7 years, and have loved being there for my kids. It has been really difficult at times, however I am very grateful for the chance to be there for all of their school events. I have been able to be there for them when they are sick and throughout the summer. Financially, it has been a sacrifice, but the benefits far out weigh the negatives. My kids are not as tired from waking up extra early for daycare and from staying until 6:30 at daycare like all of their friends.
  14. Krissy

    Krissy New Member

    I am a stay-at-home mom, and I can honestly say that while I think I'm doing what's best for my children, I don't always think it's what is best for me. I am a person who like the structure of a work day. I like adult conversation. I like stimulation. I don't always get that when I'm at home. But, I am home for my kids. I can do to their activities, and I am free to take them to appointments whenever I want. So it has it's ups and downs. This decision is very personal, and no answer is right for everyone.
  15. sweetserenityone

    sweetserenityone New Member

    I agree if it is doable for a family and the mother is a good, nurturing, loving mother, then it is best for Moms to stay at home. It use to be that way back in the day. Women's Lib was a great idea, but I think society lost track of the important things that money cannot buy. Both parents working, and by the end of school and work, the day is over with. Will you really truly feel like family time on the weekend? Don't you have to clean the house? I stay at home with my children, and I homeschool them. I love it!
  16. emilyallen133

    emilyallen133 New Member

    I'm about 13 weeks pregnant at the moment so have no experience (yet!) but am planning on being a stay at home Mum.

    In some ways I'm really looking forward to it. I like the thought of being able to see my baby grow and change every day. I know that I wont miss things that my partner who works will. I like that I will be able to take them to groups and play centres and do lots of fun things with them to break up are day.

    But i can also see your points as well. I'm a little worried that it may get a little lonely and that I will miss adult conversation but like its posted above I have already joined loads of internet groups where I'm already bonding and chatting to other women who will soon be in the same boat as me. I'm hoping that helps and also going to the play groups and stuff should help me meet other Mums who I can go out for coffee and chat with.

    I hear alot of people say that I'm choosing the easy option but I don't think thats true. Some people have lookin after children as a full time career so it cant be that easy! Plus there is no excuse not to have all the house work done if your at home all day. I think my days will be very very busy :-0

    I think its fab to be a stay at home Mum but wouldn't judge anyone who wanted to go back to work.
  17. anca23b

    anca23b New Member

    Well, I am not a mother. But I believe if a woman is very interested in building a career, a stay home mother is probably out of the question. I think that in this modern times, there are plenty of solutions that are offered to mothers that want to continue with their careers, but also who want to spend quality time with their baby.
  18. MaryG

    MaryG New Member

    I have been a stay at home mom for many years, and it has been a really good thing for me and my children. We are able to learn and grow in many different ways. However, I know that it's not for everyone. My sister went through an extreme depression trying to live the same lifestyle, so for her it was better in going to work.
  19. JenStar

    JenStar New Member

    I think if your circumstances allow it, being a stay at home mum is fantastic. I also love working from home as it gives you so much more flexibility. I think at the end of the day it is down to personal preferences, I know it is not for everyone, but I do love being at home.
  20. JenStar

    JenStar New Member

    I think if your circumstances allow it, being a stay at home mum is fantastic. I also love working from home as it gives you so much more flexibility. I think at the end of the day it is down to personal preferences, I know it is not for everyone, but I do love being at home.
  21. AnaKatOK

    AnaKatOK New Member

    What type of work did you do before staying home? Is there a way for you to work from home or use some of your transferable skills to create a side job?

    I know how you feel. I'm a new mom and wanted to stay home with my baby for at least the first five years. Before she was born I was a massage therapist and after the newborn phase was out I started getting ansty. Yes, I love being home with her, and I do feel that it's important to have one parent attached for this stage of her childhood so daycare for any amount of time is not a possibility for us. So, I took what I know from my work as a massage therapist and used it to do content writing at home.

    As an independent massage therapist I did a lot of my own marketing, which was creating marketing materials, writing informational articles, things like that. So, when someone needs content for their blog, brochure, etc., but doesn't have the time or skill, I write it for them. Sometimes it takes some research (I had to write several pages about sash windows which I knew nothing about before), but its something that I'm good at and it's flexible so when she is napping or playing I can work. And if I don't feel like working I don't take on any new assignments.

    Maybe there is something like that you can do?
  22. Taska Leach

    Taska Leach New Member

    I am a stay-at-home mom myself. I sympathize with you on the subject of being lonely. My husband works weird hours as well. I can't have a grown-up conversation because there is always a child around. As far as my opinion goes, I enjoy being a stay-at-home mom because I just love being around children. I can also work at home and be with my children more which is super important to me. When I get lonely, I make the extra effort to spend time and talk with my husband as much as possible.
  23. messerc

    messerc New Member

    Just recently I became unemployed and I can say that I love being home. My daughters are 13 and 9 so they are at school most of the day but I like being there when they get home. I used to have to pick them from school and go back to work and I was always in a rush, never slowed down. I am more relaxed although I will eventually have to get a job. In the meantime I'm loving it.
  24. Libragirl67

    Libragirl67 New Member

    I also was a stay at home to my two boys. They are now 15 and 17, and I have since re-entered the work force. I know how hard it can be, especially when you start to crave the attention of other adults. Sesame Street gets old after awhile.:sleeping:. But believe me, it is well worth it. All moms form a special bond with their children. But someday when your kids are older you will reflect back on their childhood days and be so very happy you were there and didn't miss a thing. People used to say to me cherish this time with your kids it goes by so fast. And I never realized how true those words were until I turned around and my boys had turned into young men. It is a tough job being a stay at home mom but the rewards will be priceless.
  25. LKF

    LKF New Member

    This is something I struggle with daily. I work primarily outside the home, and hate how much time it takes away from being with my son. That, coupled with the crippling amount of money we pay for daycare, I have a hard time justifying working outside the home.

    I think that staying at home with children certainly has its challenges; one of which you mentioned. It can be hard and often one can feel alienated when you don't interact with other adults on a regular basis. I would recommend reaching out online, or even trying for part time work, if you feel that you are unhappy as a stay at home mom.

    Bottom line, I don't feel as though everyone is cut out to stay at home with their children. It can be hard to find a happy medium.
  26. Ryan21

    Ryan21 New Member

    I believe it can be an excellent idea to be a stay at home parent. Daycare costs alone would justify it. Along with the benefits of having the children interact with a parent for the entire day. It's a great decision if the family has the option.
  27. Annac514

    Annac514 New Member

    I do think it is a good idea to be a stay at home mom. While it is very challenging, and it requires a lot of sacrifice it is so rewarding to me. I love watching my daughter grow and develop and I love that I am the person taking care of her during those years that fly by.
  28. boyto85

    boyto85 New Member

    before my wife got pregnant we decided that she would be a stay at home mum, neither of us wanted our childrens special moments to be witnessed for the first time by a day care worker, she loves being with the kids and taking a primary role in there development and i am always there to give her a break when i get home from work if she needs it
    I think it would break her heart to leave the kids in day care and go back to work, but she knows i would support her decision no matter what it is because i know she will always have the kids best interests at heart
  29. MandaElaine

    MandaElaine New Member

    I think being a stay at home mom is wonderful, but it doesn't work for everyone. For me, I couldn't see my life any other way. I always planned to be a working mom. My mother would keep my son in my home while my husband and I were at work. It was an ideal situation. After my son arrived, there was no way I could be away from him for 10-12 hours a day. Being home with him works for me. I am a much happier person managing a home and a family. I never realized it was something that I wanted, but I feel like I am where I am supposed to be.

    I would suggest finding time for yourself with other adults. Many areas have active mother's groups that are always welcoming new members. If you feel like you need to work outside the home, perhaps a part time job would be perfect for you. Do what is right for you and your family.
  30. christina71

    christina71 New Member

    I think being a stay at home mom is a very good thing. Sometimes circumstances don't allow it though. It can be one of the toughest jobs there is. No adult interaction can get frustrating. But it can also be the most fulfilling of jobs. Little ones grow up so fast and being able to take part in every aspect of there raising is a reward in itself.

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