Having a baby: planned or unplanned

Discussion in 'Everything Else' started by adiyamanilom, Sep 6, 2018.

?

how many kids do you have?

  1. 1

    4 vote(s)
    50.0%
  2. 2

    2 vote(s)
    25.0%
  3. 3

    2 vote(s)
    25.0%
  4. more than 3

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. adiyamanilom

    adiyamanilom New Member

    I have three kids.
    all were unplanned.

    It is very much exciting to wait til your pregnant or not. We definitely didn't plan to have kids as early as possible. But then there's one, after 8 years the 2nd came, after a year and a half my princess came. Then we stopped. I guess having Three kids is not easy. Not to mention the cost. But it is great to have a big family. Now we are not planning to have a baby again, but I'm not using any pills of any sort. Having a baby is a blessing. If its time to have another then so be it.
     
  2. Salen0304

    Salen0304 New Member

    I've been married carrying my 3months baby. Yes, it was unplanned but no regret at all because all things happened for a reason or purpose it only depends on your reactions or decision how will you handle that situation. So, whether planned or not, its ending is how will you raise a good family even in the hardest part of your life.
     
  3. canyouhearmenow13

    canyouhearmenow13 New Member

    My daughter was planned. She was my second pregnancy after having had a missed miscarriage. My husband and I decided to try to conceive shortly after the miscarriage and were fortunate to get pregnant again with our little girl. She is the best thing to have ever happened to us and we are so grateful that we have her.
     
  4. naililmuna

    naililmuna New Member

    I have two kids, 12 months gap. Wow, off-course they're all unplanned. As new married couple, we just enjoy life together, didn't bother about birth plan whatsoever. One, two to three months passed, our relatives texted us, called us, privately had you pregnant? had you pregnant yet? Oh gosh, very pushy and intimidating. It was a stressful situation that made me talk to a counselor, is it okay not to have baby too soon. He gave us the best answer ever don't bother about having a baby or not. Child is a gift from God. But don't forget that you have His gift already: your partner, your husband. So be grateful with your new life, enjoy it with your husband. After talking to him, I fell more relaxed and enjoy our life better. Just a few months later, I got pregnant my first child. After we had our first baby, we keep enjoy our life and be grateful for what we have. So I think unplanned baby is better, because you will automatically on a relaxed mode physically and mentally, good for your hormone too to prepare everything. But if after waiting for one year you still didn't get pregnant, talk to your doctor and have a pregnancy plan program. Even-though, your doctor will keep saying to enjoy life and relax, you will get help from multivitamins and medical treatment from the program.
     
  5. janisdeleon

    janisdeleon New Member

    I have three kids all were unplanned.

    I would have preferred to have them when I was ready. Ready financially and emotionally. I had my first when I was still studying, it was really a big challenge to juggle motherhood with college, but with the help of family I was able to finish my studies. The second I had when my career was just kicking off, I had to put off pushing for betterment in my career, striving for a better position but all was worth it. My "mini me" came when I was almost in my forties. Being a mom again at a later age was blessing, but she came at a time when I was financially distraught that I am finding it difficult to provide for her. With God's blessings I know that we will make it through this difficult times.
     
  6. Loujen1012

    Loujen1012 New Member

    My son was planned. After five years of in relationship we've decided to get married since we already have a stable job and can support our future children financially. But the plan did not go so well because I have a Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. It's difficult for me to bear a child. I was disappointed that time. I can never imagine having no children in my whole life. Four months after I knew that I have PCOS, I've witness the greatest miracle in my life. I am pregnant that time. I don't know how did it happen. I guess, God is more powerful than PCOS. Either planned or unplanned, babies are the greatest gift a parent could ever have.
     
  7. madpotz23

    madpotz23 New Member

    My fiancee and I are planning to get married next year. We don't have a baby yet and planning to have one after our first wedding anniversary. We want to enjoy first being couple and make our health at its best when we are ready to have a child. Saving money before having a baby is a great decision also, everything that is planned beforehand leads to success but adding sincere prayer and letting God be the center of it will give you genuine happiness and contentment.
     
  8. Flamelily

    Flamelily New Member

    I have one daughter and she was planned. I was married to my husband for six years when we decided we were now ready to have our family. The fact that we had grown together in our marriage and we had ironed out the little issues we all face when first married, as living with another person is challenging, and we were financially stable. We believed we had a more mature outlook in raising children and knew of the sacrifices that entailed.
     
  9. ewapc101

    ewapc101 Active Member

    I don't think it has anything to do with how much you love your children, but both my kids where planned and wanted from before conception. I think that makes for an easier life/childhood for myself and my little ones.

    If you really can't see where having an unplanned child might not be the best thing, then maybe you should study the outcomes of children who were born into less than ideal circumstances vs those that were born into families that truely wanted them and were prepared for them.
     
  10. ewapc101

    ewapc101 Active Member

    If you really can't see where having an unplanned child might not be the best thing, then maybe you should study the outcomes of children who were born into less than ideal circumstances vs those that were born into families that truely wanted them and were prepared for them.
     
  11. ewapc101

    ewapc101 Active Member

    I don't think it has anything to do with how much you love your children, but both my kids where planned and wanted from before conception. I think that makes for an easier life/childhood for myself and my little ones.

    If you really can't see where having an unplanned child might not be the best thing, then maybe you should study the outcomes of children who were born into less than ideal circumstances vs those that were born into families that truely wanted them and were prepared for them.
     
  12. ewapc101

    ewapc101 Active Member

    The ACOG form that ob/gyn's, NP's and CNM's follow when they meet a new patient for the first time has a portion on it that asks if the pregnancy was planned and if the child is wanted. I think it's part of the social assessment and assessment of overall wellbeing of the patient and family unit. It's not meant to offend, but I find it often does. Greater than 50% of children who are conceived nowadays are unplanned, and to our field, it shows us we're doing a poor job of pregnancy planning and contraception, which is a diservice to our patients. Over 90% of the unplanned children are wanted. I do work with a girl who recently got pregnant, unplanned, and it's definitely unwanted. She's come to terms with it and accepted it now, but it's a huge source of stress for her. I feel bad, but I can't help but wonder- she did know her options, and I wonder how she let herself get into that position in the first place-- she's an ob/gyn. But I guess in that light, it can happen to anyone. It was hard for her to accept support because she had a lot of self blame. It made me wonder how my mom felt-- I was an oops, as she called it. But all we did for my friend was support her and now I think she's moderately looking forward to her LO. Situations like these are why these questions are asked, so you can intervene if there's a tough situation. Get people signed up for WIC if they need it or let them know they're not alone if they feel that way.
     
  13. ewapc101

    ewapc101 Active Member

    The ACOG form that ob/gyn's, NP's and CNM's follow when they meet a new patient for the first time has a portion on it that asks if the pregnancy was planned and if the child is wanted. I think it's part of the social assessment and assessment of overall wellbeing of the patient and family unit. It's not meant to offend, but I find it often does. Greater than 50% of children who are conceived nowadays are unplanned, and to our field, it shows us we're doing a poor job of pregnancy planning and contraception, which is a diservice to our patients. Over 90% of the unplanned children are wanted. I do work with a girl who recently got pregnant, unplanned, and it's definitely unwanted. She's come to terms with it and accepted it now, but it's a huge source of stress for her. I feel bad, but I can't help but wonder- she did know her options, and I wonder how she let herself get into that position in the first place-- she's an ob/gyn. But I guess in that light, it can happen to anyone. It was hard for her to accept support because she had a lot of self blame. It made me wonder how my mom felt-- I was an oops, as she called it. But all we did for my friend was support her and now I think she's moderately looking forward to her LO. Situations like these are why these questions are asked, so you can intervene if there's a tough situation. Get people signed up for WIC if they need it or let them know they're not alone if they feel that way.
     

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