how can you forgive?

Discussion in 'Writing for Blogs' started by reizel27, Oct 29, 2017.

  1. Jomari-QyEG

    Jomari-QyEG Member

    Forgiving is the best do in our life. I just forgive somebody by accepting his or her apologize
     
  2. Piandex

    Piandex New Member

    Forgiving is a treatment, and grudge is the sickness. It took me years to understand this.
    How can you forgive a person if this person is the reason you lost everything?Including your purpose in life.
    Everyday its killing me, i cant sleep. I scream while im sleeping. I almost lost my job.
    Till one day, i realized if i dont release this grudge that im feeling, i may end up in prison or worst -dead.

    I accepted the fact, its done already. I cant reverse time and the best course of action is to forgive and move forward.
    And I got my life back in track.
     
  3. 0strich0377

    0strich0377 New Member

    I have this friend who has done research about the art of forgiving. She said to forgive is not really to forget. But, if you forgive, it means you want to continue the relationship with the person. And I realized it may be the case as when we forgive, the connection is bridged.

    I do not want to preach about forgiving, it depends on your capacity to forget those who have wronged you. Or to let go of the burden that keeps surfacing every time you are down low.
    Just do not hold on to the grudges that you miss out being happy and free.
     
  4. Eric35

    Eric35 Member

    forgiving one person is hard to do when somebody hurts you or broke your trust....but we have to forgive one person because this will always give and leave a lesson..and it will starts us and give us a new starrt for this and we are Not God we are people...God forgive us through he send Jesus to save us from our sins and living in this world are both combined love and forgiveness
     
  5. Jomari-QyEG

    Jomari-QyEG Member

    I forgive easily because God forgive us everyday.
     
  6. arekneel70

    arekneel70 New Member

    How can I forgive? it's a tricky question though, Basically, it's a bit complicated or it depends on the weight of what she/he or they did, that's what makes it complicated. I on the other hand, do easily forgive BUT, after the forgiveness comes the hard part. Forgetting and letting it go, I guess I really am having a hard time coping up after the damage been done. Just can't go on right away or can't move on. Like a nostalgic feeling, I guess someone say that "it's easy to forgive but hard to forget". Neither we know how deep the wound gets. But "to human is err, and to forgive is divine" per se.
    Morally, we intend to forgive for us to be forgiven. It's a cruel world we live in but it wouldn't be much crueler if we can't humble ourselves and learn to forgive.
    So let's forgive and forget. How hard can it be?
     
  7. josechristy09

    josechristy09 Member

    Forgiveness requires feeling willing to forgive. Sometimes you won't, because the hurt went too deep, or because the person was too abusive, or expressed no regret. Do not attempt to forgive someone before you have identified, fully felt, expressed, and released your anger and pain.

    If you decide you are willing to forgive, find a good place and time to be alone with your thoughts. Then, try following these four steps to forgive even when it feels impossible:

    1. Think about the incident that angered you. Accept that it happened. Accept how you felt about it and how it made you react. In order to forgive, you need to acknowledge the reality of what occurred and how you were affected.
    2. Acknowledge the growth you experienced as a result of what happened. What did it make you learn about yourself, or about your needs and boundaries? Not only did you survive the incident, perhaps you grew from it.
    3. Now think about the other person. He or she is flawed because all human beings are flawed. He or she acted from limited beliefs and a skewed frame of reference because sometimes we all act from our limited beliefs and skewed frames of reference. When you were hurt, the other person was trying to have a need met. What do you think this need was and why did the person go about it in such a hurtful way?
    4. Finally, decide whether or not you want to tell the other person that you have forgiven him or her. If you decide not to express forgiveness directly, then do it on your own. Say the words, "I forgive you," aloud and then add as much explanation as you feel is merited.
    Forgiveness puts the final seal on what happened that hurt you. You will still remember what happened, but you will no longer be bound by it. Having worked through the feelings and learned what you need to do to strengthen your boundaries or get your needs met, you are better able to take care of yourself in the future. Forgiving the other person is a wonderful way to honor yourself. It affirms to the universe that you deserve to be happy.
     
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  8. Elmae1976

    Elmae1976 New Member

    They say it was difficult to forgive but for me if you love someone and he did something wrong it was easy to forgive since you have all the heart to understand. I always put in mind that if I continue hating someone I will be the one on the losing end since I welcome negativity.

    I also see to it to be more happy in life so that I can always forgive and love my enemies. Since God always forgive me eventhough I committed mistakes I always see to it to be more understanding and forgive those who hurt me.
     
  9. Scyllune

    Scyllune New Member

    Forgiveness isn't easy. And to be honest, I don't believe that every person is worth forgiving. There has to be a threshold, a place where both forgiveness and vengeance coexist. But that's all very subjective. It depends on what the offending act is, and what is at stake.

    Forgiveness can be freeing, but spite can be just as good as a motivator. You have to choose your battles, however. It's not an issue of spirituality or of good karma. It's a personal choice, and sometimes, we have to step out of our comfort zone to be completely at home with ourselves. Do what feels right for you.
     
  10. potchuy203

    potchuy203 New Member

    I believe it is possible to forgive. Our God is the God of forgiveness. Forgiveness means different things to different people. Generally, however, it involves a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. Vengeance is mine says the Lord. Surrender your hurt feelings to the Lord.

    We must learn to let go of our grudges and bitterness. The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help free you from the control of the person who harmed you. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. You will feel free of anger if you forgive.

    Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you or making up with the person who caused the harm. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life. Forgiveness helps you go on to the next chapter of your life. We are encouraged in the Bible to forgive. It is because God has also forgiven us.
     
  11. Cio

    Cio New Member

    By forgiving, you are accepting the reality of what happened and finding a way to live in a state of resolution with it. This can be a gradual process—and it doesn't necessarily have to include the person you are forgiving. Forgiveness isn't something you do for the person who wronged you; it's something you do for you.

    So if forgiveness is something you do for yourself and if it can help you heal, why is it so hard?

    There are several reasons: You're filled with thoughts of retribution or revenge; you enjoy feeling superior; you don't know how to resolve the situation; you're addicted to the adrenaline that anger provides; you self-identify as a "victim"; or you're afraid that by forgiving you have to re-connect—or lose your connection—with the other person. These reasons not to forgive can be resolved by becoming more familiar with yourself, with your thoughts and feelings, and with your boundaries and needs.

    Now that you know what forgiveness is not and why it's so hard to do, ask yourself: Do I want to forgive?

    Forgiveness requires feeling willing to forgive. Sometimes you won't, because the hurt went too deep, or because the person was too abusive, or expressed no regret. Do not attempt to forgive someone before you have identified, fully felt, expressed, and released your anger and pain.

    If you decide you are willing to forgive, find a good place and time to be alone with your thoughts. Then, try following these four steps to forgive even when it feels impossible:

    1. Think about the incident that angered you. Accept that it happened. Accept how you felt about it and how it made you react. In order to forgive, you need to acknowledge the reality of what occurred and how you were affected.
    2. Acknowledge the growth you experienced as a result of what happened. What did it make you learn about yourself, or about your needs and boundaries? Not only did you survive the incident, perhaps you grew from it.
    3. Now think about the other person. He or she is flawed because all human beings are flawed. He or she acted from limited beliefs and a skewed frame of reference because sometimes we all act from our limited beliefs and skewed frames of reference. When you were hurt, the other person was trying to have a need met. What do you think this need was and why did the person go about it in such a hurtful way?
    4. Finally, decide whether or not you want to tell the other person that you have forgiven him or her. If you decide not to express forgiveness directly, then do it on your own. Say the words, "I forgive you," aloud and then add as much explanation as you feel is merited.
     
  12. potchjose

    potchjose New Member

    I believe that man is able to forgive. Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. Forgiveness is also a command of God.

    Forgiveness is a deliberate act. Just as important as defining what forgiveness is, though, is understanding what forgiveness is not. Experts who study or teach forgiveness make clear that when you forgive, you do not gloss over or deny the seriousness of an offense against you. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses. Though forgiveness can help repair a damaged relationship, it doesn’t obligate you to reconcile with the person who harmed you, or release them from legal accountability. As God has forgiven us so do we.

    Therefore, forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him or her from corrosive anger. While there is some debate over whether true forgiveness requires positive feelings toward the offender, experts agree that it at least involves letting go of deeply held negative feelings. In that way, it empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you, enabling you to heal and move on with your life. There is a good feeling of relief when you forgive people that hurt you.
     
  13. VanessaIsabelle

    VanessaIsabelle New Member

    To forgive is to forget. Forget the bad and hurtful memories, forget the wrong being made and just leave the past behind. Relieving and remembering all those things will make forgiving very hard. Forgiving the person will be next to impossible.

    Forgetting does not mean you don't care of those things being done to you. It just means those things being done to you won't affect you as much as before. You have accepted that you've been wronged and that you have decided to move forward by forgetting. It does not mean that since you have forgotten, that person may hurt you again. It is up to you if you allow it to happen again. It is a choice you have to make if that person who have hurt you is a partner, a family or a very close friend.

    To avoid being abused, you must learn how to draw the lines. Forgive, forget and start anew. Or forgive, forget and start anew with separate lives to avoid hurting each other again.
     
  14. zupbuddy

    zupbuddy New Member

    You can forgive if you fill your heart with love. If we forgive others even though they never said or made you feel sorry, your heart is full of love. We forgive others event though they did it over and over again, your heart is full of love. We forgive others even though they've hurt us and gave us pain, then your heart is full of love. We can only forgive if we know how to love.
     
  15. Danabby

    Danabby New Member

    As humans, we all make mistakes, and we all know what it is to have suffered due to others’ mistakes. It’s easy to say “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you”, but liberating our hearts from the pain is rather hard. For me, understanding the one who apologizes is crucial, nevertheless, forgiving ourselves for having ever judged them at the beginning is an important part of the process that frees us from the pain. Thus, forgiving is an internal process rather than something you just work with other people.
     
  16. jonjon1980

    jonjon1980 Member

    forgiveness is to forget what the sins have done to us and love will set us free but sometimes it's hard to forget so it will be harder to forgive anyone so there is no love
     
  17. saharav

    saharav New Member

    Forgiving is easier said than done. It requires time and effort. In my opinion, in order to forgive, we must try to broaden our understanding, avoid settling on the past but rather try to see things in a different and new perspective. We need to always look for the better side, as the saying goes "there's always beauty in negativity."

    Try to reflect on yourself, when was the last time you made a mistake and asked for forgiveness? How does if feel not being forgiven? Try putting yourself in the shoe of the others, think of how you wanted to be treated. After all, we all make mistakes at some point.
     
  18. ralphesan

    ralphesan New Member

    It's easy, accept that people will always do you wrong and you can't be right all the time too. So there will always be a need to just do it for the sake of not alienating everyone around you.
     
  19. Joan Estrera

    Joan Estrera New Member

    Forgiving ain't easy especially if the offense was really huge. We say forgiving is always easier but forgetting isn't. It takes time and at some point we need to just let time tell on when can we genuinely forgive the person in question. Personally, I have been through toughest times of my life where I can say one person really offended me to the bone. It took me time until my heart felt right to forgive the person and just move on. Thus, I say to forgive is to assess ourselves if we have already moved on.
     
  20. djsanmartin

    djsanmartin New Member

    Forgiving is letting go of the pain, heartaches and all the negativities that you have inside towards another person. It does take time to do this especially if there's still something that keeps on reminding you of what has happened in the past. It's like a scar after a bad fall that even though you wish you could just remove it from your memory, there's still something to remind you of the incident. If you could look at that person without any hatred and you have peace in your heart, then you must have forgiven already and has moved on from that chapter of your life.
     
  21. Leenvel

    Leenvel New Member

    I take my time to heal first before forgiving those people who wounded me emotionally and mentally. That process works for me effectively.
    Thinking of forgiving someone was hard because mentally and emotionally it hurts but as time pass by you would realize a lot of things; you would realize that people were not as perfect as you are, that people can hurt you by choice they made, that people aren't that pure because they were tainted by their sins and upon realizing those things you would be free from the pain of reality.
     
  22. Commander32123

    Commander32123 New Member

    Put what you need to forgive in an imaginary sack, and lay it at the foot of Lord Jesus' cross.
    He loved you enough and so walk in the life of resurrected Lord Jesus.
    without Jesus life and work in the Gospels, we wouldn't have a word called "forgiveness" would we now? This is what the original meaning of the word "new world order" comes from, becuase the 3500 year old order of revenge -justice was replaced with the 2000 year old repentance-justice, where the person who hurt you promises to not hurt anyone again.
     
  23. Deelyn

    Deelyn New Member

    In order to forgive, you need to accept the reality that situations and people are uncontrollable. In this way you can acknowledge what and how it hurts you so it will remain as harsh realities of the past and learning for the future. To forgive, it doesn't mean that you need to forget all the things that have happened. Forget the pain that someone caused you do not throw the lesson it tells you.
     
  24. rachyoli

    rachyoli New Member

    If someone hurts me in a way or another, I just keep living my life and go after my bigger goals. After a while I start making excuses for those people. I know that some people are just so mean and toxic, but this is how my brain works, I guess it is my way of trying to stay sane and move on without holding any grudges. This is me and I am sure so many are not the same.
     
  25. kers

    kers Member

    I think in order to forgive, you must first learn how to accept. Acceptance is the key to forgiveness. If you accept that someone did something really bad and it hurt you, accept it. And when you start to accept it, you will be able to forgive.
     
  26. ccagnaan

    ccagnaan New Member

    It is not easy to forgive. Especially if they ruined your life by spreading rumors about you being a prostitute, calling you a bird brain, a stupid girl. It happened to me. I suffered because of that. I came to the point where I no longer look at my uncle's and auntie's face since they're the ones who ruined my life. My dignity as a teenager. I had the pain for years. But then I realized, I won't be happy if I still carry it in my heart. But I can't forgive them literally, because they did not ask for my forgiveness. What I did to release everything? I talked to God thru my prayers and I told him about all of my heartaches. I released everything. Then I told him, "it is very hard to forgive someone who doesn't ask for your forgiveness,but it is harder if the pain is still with me."
    I asked God to forgive them, their souls. I asked him to touch their hearts for them to stop spreading rumors about me and my family. After that, I had a peace of mind. I feel happy and free from the pain that I once had.
     
  27. janeabiquibil

    janeabiquibil New Member

    Forgiveness does not mean you forget or you talk about with a person. Sometimes, forgiveness means you already accepted the situation. Acceptance with the situation means when you don't hold the grudge anymore.
     
  28. gabrielapostu

    gabrielapostu Member

    Move on and go forward.
     
  29. snesz08

    snesz08 Member

    Forgiveness for me is acceptance. accepting his/her mistakes. it is not easy to forgive, specially if that person hurts you so much. I believe time heals. if it is the perfect time to forgive someone it will come. you will forget what happened and you will say "it's okay past is past, the important is we are okay now." because it happened to me many times. so time will heal just wait for it. you don't need to rush things just to forgive someone, it will come in perfect time.
     
  30. chuchu12

    chuchu12 New Member

    Sometimes, it's hard to forgive but sometimes, it's easy. Forgiving is based on the situation happened to you. When it comes to cheating, it's really hard to forgive someone. Yes, it's done. But the feeling and would that cause you will mark to you until you totally moved on. I can say that we can forgive but it in process until our wounds healed but forgetting is other issue.
     

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