Why is it so difficult to confront people

Discussion in 'Everything Else' started by kattsallie, Nov 9, 2018.

  1. kattsallie

    kattsallie New Member

    I was in a recent situation that involved me having to tell someone in a state job position exactly what I thought--my other two options I believed I had were to go over his head and report him for not doing his job, or I had to quit because I would have failed without his follow through.
    I confronted him but I do not believe he is on my side anymore, he is angry but won't say that. And because of me confronting him, I do not believe he has my best interest at heart, and now ultimately I will still fail.

    Did I do the right thing? Would you have reported him for not doing his job or would you have chosen to give up instead? Did I have any other options that I am not seeing?

    This will personally effect my chance of working as a customer call center agent, and I really have worked hard and I want and need the job. It is the small mind, mob mentality thing and he will now tell everyone that I confronted him and what right did I have to do that?

    Any advice at all on how to confront someone without making them upset or mad? Should I have told everyone but him instead, talked about him and not resolved the issue or waited until it got back to him and then blew up in my face?

    I am looking to hear how well you handle confronting people--do you confront people? Do you gossip about them instead?
     
  2. zor1448

    zor1448 New Member

    Hello!
    In my opinion, confronting someone because of his mistake or about any reason is good. How we can do that without hurting them is a BIG question.

    I admit that I'm not a kind of person who just sit and relax, I do confront other people when I notice something specially their mistakes. But before I do that I always check the person's behavior so I can think of a better way to approach him. We can't avoid the fact that they will get mad after so in your situation I think it would be better if you just tell your superior about it secretly, it's okay. When I was working in a company I always encountered the same problem and that was my first action, when the scenario was complicated and serious.

    You can still try to confront other people but you must set your limit, I mean it depends on the situation. Be careful of your words and make sure that you will deliver your words with respect. Let the person feels that you are just concern and might the person's understand your good intention. Of course it's easier if you are close to that person but if you're not and can't think of better ways to do then just set it aside and just mind your own job. Someone might notice his mistakes and confront him.
     
  3. Em14

    Em14 New Member

    It is difficult to confront people especially when it regards to the sensitive matter. You will always think of her feelings and her reactions about the confrontation. And sometimes you have to practice what to say and how to say it just to be nice as long as you want to be her to be calm.
     
  4. kthrn

    kthrn New Member

    It's really hard to confront people because people sometimes becomes so defensive that they make their own walls like they don't want any people to get inside their world. They tend to create decisions which they always thought is right which sometimes leads to failures, hurts and in the end they find themselves in great remorse.
     
  5. Calay

    Calay New Member

    People usually has difficulty in confronting someone especially if that person is important to them. Maybe they are afraid that it would break the friendship if they would confront the person.Sometimes people are being too judgemental or sensitive and might misunderstood the message that they are implying.However,there are some who avoids confrontation because they are aware that they can become tactless and wants to avoid problems that might arise.
     
  6. tinenapadaingmeow

    tinenapadaingmeow New Member

    It's difficult to confront someone because we are afraid to hurt them. Close minded people tend to take confrontations and advises as hate and criticisms rather than a constructive one. We are afraid to confront them because we don't want to make them feel bad so we choose words that is appropriate for them not to be hurt. I've been in a situation where I had to choose whether I'll confront them or not because they're very important to me and I don't want them to feel bad. : ) we can confront people and use good choice of words.
     
  7. violablue

    violablue New Member

    Humans are complex beings and confronting someone should be always done with care. I always think about the person's cultural upbringing or perhaps he might be at a disadvantaged position. Sometimes we might not know what could really hurt a person because our cultures might be different. However, I do agree that when someone does something wrong, we all have a duty to confront him or her. What has been helpful to me is to always make this about a specific action or words that he or she said, not about the person. This way, it is less personal and more specific to the issue at hand or the situation which led to this discussion. I hope that this helps.
     
  8. jheycianramos

    jheycianramos New Member

    Hi,before I’ve been in a situation where i want to confront someone but i am unable to do.Why?Because i am considering a lot of thing.One of these is..I dont want to hurt anyone although its not my intention I know that he/she might get misinterpreted that.Also some people when confronted used to have discussion to the one who confronted them,Not all people are open minded.They tend to fight instead of listening and understanding.
     
  9. babyshelle

    babyshelle New Member

    It is difficult to confront people because there are a lot of things to consider. First, the feelings of that people and the possibilities we are about to face. We are clueless of what will be their reaction. If you really know the person, it will be easy for you to confront him because you already have the idea of how he will react. Second, you do not want to meddle with the situation. There are times that you have the chance to confront someone or tell them something they must know but you did not. It is because you do not want to be involved with a complicated situation. Lastly, I must say that it is still up to you to do so. If it is really a must to confront a person, you should. If you care to that person and you need to save him by confronting him, you should. Sometimes we need to be selfless in order to help someone to be back in their track.
     

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