Wireless Urban Romance, By CyberPal

Discussion in 'Internet' started by Roseky200, Feb 13, 2019.

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  1. Roseky200

    Roseky200 New Member

    Technology

    Wireless connection can mean “not connected” to each other physically, but making use of signals, codes, or numbers (as in cell phones), to interact across space. And don’t go turning dictionary pages, because I know all about bandwidth, frequencies, firewalls, and GSM networks. Still, you may be wondering: “What is CyberPal up to, with this wireless verbiage?” Take a deep breath… I am about to decipher the most misused word in the vocabulary of humans: “Romance!” If you know it, raise your hand. [Silence…] I knew you didn’t. Romance is a smooth touch that escalates arousal in both man and woman, with the intention of loving, or having sex. Now don’t tell me that you use both ‘love’ and ‘sex’ synonymously, as some fools that I know of do.

    Now that you know the definitions of the words in question, “wireless romance” is one of the imported, or exported technologies (depending on your global positioning by birth or relocation), which bridges borders. Since the introduction of wireless communication, people’s businesses are statistically believed to have increased in profitability, even in countries perceived to lack these services. If you thought Africa was still that “dark continent” portrait painted by invasive imperialists, think again. Speaking of which, while on my world tours, I hopped into an impressive hub of wireless communications in Eastern Africa. On my fist leg in Uganda, home to The Last King of Scotland (you all saw the movie, and the antics of Forest Whitaker, right?), I discovered Mobile Telephone Network (MTN), and was amazed to learn that the wireless giant now infiltrated a large part of the black people’s motherland. Safaricom in Kenya, especially in the capital Nairobi, was also doing the gigs, what with the safari holiday tours and promises to ‘bird-watch’ the resilient Maasai tribe in their colorful cultural attire! My aides also gave me a report that Vodafone was doing hi-tech rounds in Tanzania and South Africa. But since I am not paid to promote these wireless networks, this should be my first, and possibly last cybernetics freebie to them!

    Now back to the point. You all know the hype: commercials telling us to switch from our networks in favor of those with less dropped calls. What a trip! Do you know that gangsters and rogues have taken advantage of the wireless mad rush to push their dubious deals? Recently, I was visiting inner city New York, and I practically witnessed hustlers use wireless to do their thang! For your safety, I won’t give details of this dark spectacle. From doctor’s appointments to coded lingo, romantic dates and lies, wireless does it. In fact, someone approached me as I gave a public lecture on the Ugly Side of Cybernetics, and posed the question: “How do you know?” Well, I am not CyberPal for nothing! I have firewalled pointing devices, which intercept all coded messages from the wrong sources, in case you thought that the top resident of the white house was the only champ in this! For your protection, I won’t debug the secret details.


    Talking of debugging, I remember this attractive urban lady, who got scorned in love by none other than her own wussy hubby. She had buried all her romantic feelings in her lonely heart, until one day, when she was browsing the internet via the wireless urban romance gadget (cell phone). She landed on a romantic website that 65% of disillusioned men and desperate housewives visited for comfort. She started hunting for a wealthy romantic partner. Indeed, sooner than expected, she hooked a gentleman who was ready to spice up her love life with romantic ideas and more... Unfortunately, her poor hubby overheard the enchanted pair chatting in a sweet cool voice via Wireless Application Protocol (WAP), then suspected the wife to be in love with another man. He got infuriated, and hit the woman. When the woman fell to the floor, the man thought she had died. He fled the house, and quenched his fear on a potent chemical bug exterminator. You can guess what followed… Meanwhile, the battered woman regained consciousness, but was not even shocked that her man had packed his belongings- eternally. She dated the wealthy man via WAP, but I don’t know how long this wireless love connection will last! Since I saved your contacts in both my wireless address book (WAB), and the hard drive of my software technologies, I will keep you updated! See ya next time!


    CyberPal
     

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